Coffee Spills and Sexual Harassment
by fanatic218
Summary: A misinturpreted interaction in the break room results in Hotch and Emiy forced to attend a sexual harassment seminar. H/P and M/G! One-shot.


_A/N~ I don't know what made this pop into my head, but I hope you guys like it!_

Coffee Spills and Sexual Harassment

"Hi Aaron," Jessica called from the kitchen. Jack didn't have day care today, so she volunteered to watch him while Hotch went to work. She heard him mumble a nearly inaudible hello back in a grumpy tone. She sighed. He must have talked to Erin Strauss before he left the office. He always was upset after a talk with her.

He walked into the kitchen to find Jessica making dinner for him and Jack. She was really great, but at the moment, he wasn't sure if he could show how much he appreciated it. He didn't know if he was angry, confused, surprised, or just needed to laugh hysterically.

"Jack's taking a nap. You look like…well I don't know. What's wrong?"

Deciding it would just be best to tell her the truth, he said in a flat voice, "I need you to watch Jack again tonight. I have to go to a sexual harassment seminar with Prentiss." Jessica just stared at him for a second and then burst out laughing. The idea of Aaron Hotchner sexually harassing ANYONE, let alone one of his female subordinates, was so unlikely, it made it hilarious. She doubled over and held her stomach when he crossed his arms and let out an annoyed and angry sigh.

"I can't believe this!" he said starting to rant. "Morgan and Dave slap her ass every day, and I accidently touch her breast when I accidently spilled coffee on her and I have to go to this stupid seminar. This is insane! And what are the chances that the ONE TIME I do ANYTHING out of line with a female coworker, HR is right there to write me up." Jessica was still laughing so hard she wasn't making any sound. He had to admit it was kind of funny, but he was beyond mortified. He was accused of sexually harassed an agent! Shit! That's not even what happened.

_~~~flashback~~~_

"_Hey Hot-ouch!" Emily yelped, pulling back after running into Hotch. She had just made a fresh pot of very hot coffee, and ran into him on her way out of the break room, spilling it all over herself._

"_Oh, Emily! I'm sorry! Sit here." It was still pretty early and the bull pin was deserted – they were the only ones in the BAU. Emily sat up on the counter grimacing. Jeez that coffee was hot! Hotch took a clean wash cloth from the drawer and wet it with cold water. He walked up to Emily and stood between her legs, raising the cool cloth to her skin._

"_Oh jeeze, it's already turning red. How does it feel?" he asked, gently pulling the very top of her shirt a bit to the side to press the cloth against her skin. She flinched, but it felt good._

"_Oh, that feels so good!" she said, closing her eyes._

"_This is huge, Emily. Are you sure?" They both knew he was talking about the mark the coffee made. He put one hand on her shoulder to keep her still, while the other held the small washcloth on the skin just below her collarbone._

"_Yeah, I'm sure, put it right there Hotch. It's not hot there; go a bit lower," she said, groaning. He slid the washcloth, and his hand, lower until the palm of his hand was resting on top of her breast. In any other situation, he would have jumped back immediately and apologized, but all he could do was stare at the red stop on her chest, thinking about how much it must hurt. It was starting to swell._

"_How hot was that?" Referring to the coffee._

"_So hot," she groaned again, tilting her head back to rest on the cabinet._

"_Does that feel good?" he asked tenderly, gently rubbing the washcloth over her chest, not noticing how his hand was still on her breast._

"_That feels _so_ good!" she nearly moaned. Both of their heads shot up when they heard someone clearing their throat. Hotch looked from the man, then back to Emily, realizing for the first time that his hand had practically been kneading her breast as he was massaging the burnt skin. Shit – he just got caught feeling up his female subordinate. He jumped away from Emily as she slid of the counter._

"_Uh, hello," she said awkwardly. After all, she was moaning as her boss was rubbing the skin she spilled coffee on. And from the look on that man's face, he probably came in _after_ the coffee spill, and only witnessed her asking him to go lower. And from that angle, he probably did not see the wet washcloth Hotch was using for her burn._

"_Hello, I am Agent Phillips from HR. I came to inform Agent Morgan and TA Garcia about the sexual harassment seminar they are to attend tonight, but I guess they will not be the only agents from this team coming. Agent Hotchner, inappropriately touching female subordinates is severely looked down upon in the bureau. Agent Prentiss, moaning and asking your boss to 'go lower' on your chest is not at all professional I expect you both to be in conference room 5 on floor 3 at seven o'clock this evening. Do not be late. " With that, he turned on his heels and left the BAU. Hotch and Emily stared at each other with open mouths for several minutes, trying to come to terms with what happened._

"_Well, this sucks."_

_Silence._

"_It could be worse though. I could be Rossi." Hotch snorted. Yes, it would be pretty bad if he was caught feeling up Dave. That would take a bit more explaining._

"_Glad you would prefer to grab my breasts over Rossi's then," Emily said, horribly attempting to hide her amusement. He was starting to blush, and it was hilarious._

_Hotch ran his hand through his hair and let out a sigh. "Emily, I'm sorry. I didn't even realize that I was…" he trailed off, too embarrassed to say it._

"_Didn't realize you were trying to cop-a-feel?" She was starting to giggle. She burst out laughing when he groaned and covered his face with his hands._

"_Prentiss!" he groaned._

"_I'm sorry sir….but…you have to admit….this is hilarious!...I mean you…of all people….grabbing my breast…" she managed to get out between fits of laughter. Hotch tried to hide his laugh. Sure, from an outsider's view of the whole situation, it would be hilarious. Even Hotch would admit he would be laughing it this kind of thing happened to JJ and Reid, but it wasn't that fun being sent to a sexual harassment seminar because HR thought you were fraternizing with your female employees. But seriously, he was one of the most straight laced agents in the bureau! Would he really cop-a-feel in the middle of the office? And with someone he really only called by her first name when she was hurt or sad about something._

"_Get back to work Prentiss," he said before going back to his office. He didn't even get the coffee he originally came down for._

_~~~end flashback~~~_

Hotch's car had been having troubles, so Prentiss was going to pick him up at six thirty. Well, she really said sex thirty to get a rise out him over the phone. She apparently was the only one having fun with the situation. Hotch heard a knock on the door and asked Jessica to answer it while he said goodbye to Jack. He walked back into his living room to find the two girls cracking up.

Rolling his eyes, he grabbed his suit jacket and said goodbye to Jessica. "Prentiss if we don't leave now, we are going to be late," he said trying to usher her out the door.

"Oh well sir; we can always say we got held up having sex in the supply closet!" Jessica burst out laughing again.

"Don't start with me Prentiss! You were the one moaning saying it was hot and that it felt good!" Jessica now had tears rolling down her eyes. "Let's just get this over with."

/

Hotch and Emily made it to the conference room just in time for the presentation. They were not at all surprised to see Morgan and Garcia sitting in the back of the room, though even if Agent Phillips hadn't said anything about their attendance, it wouldn't have been a shock.

It was, however, a shock for Morgan and Garcia to see Emily and HOTCH, of all people, enter the room. Garcia quickly motioned for the two to come and join them in the back of the room. Emily smiled and pulled Hotch along with her to the two empty seats next to them. Hotch and Morgan sat on either end with the two girls in the middle.

"So," Morgan said leaning across Garcia to smile at Hotch. "First sexual harassment seminar, eh, boss? I am just DYING to know what SSAIC Aaron Hotchner did to deserve this!" Morgan was grinning so big and Garcia was poking Emily whispering details repeatedly. Hotch groaned and leaned his head back against the wall.

"Well, Morgan, if you must know, I believe we are here because Hotch was kneading my breast asking if it was hot and I responded in a moan 'so hot'. What did you guys get caught doing?" Emily said smiling. Hotch started banging his head against the wall.

"That is NOT what happened!" he said before Morgan or Garcia could comment. They just sat back staring at the pair trying not to laugh. "I was trying to help after you spilled the coffee on your…"

"Luscious breasts?" Garcia offered with a giggle.

"Yes – NO! She spilled the coffee and I was helping her cool the skin down. Oh, shit," he finally said defeated. Both women were in fits of uncontrollable laughter and Morgan had a huge smile on his face.

"You know sir, all you had to do was ask!" Emily said between laughs. Hotch closed his eyes and sighed, continuing to thump his head against the wall behind him. Before he could say anything, Agent Phillips stood at the front of the small conference room and screamed for silence. Garcia leaned over to Emily and whispered, "This is going to be SO much better than last year!"

There really weren't too many people in for the seminar. It was mostly men who had more than two write ups for inappropriate conduct with female coworkers, but Agent Phillips went through each case and described why that type of behavior was not allowed. He had a monotone that was driving Emily insane, only finding comic relief in little moans and pants Garcia and Morgan were giving off, causing his face to turn red.

"And now, SSA Morgan and TA Garcia. These two are prime examples of inappropriate behavior in the work place. I believe the event that placed you in this room tonight was the phone call overheard by Agent Anderson. He said he had heard many phone calls between the two of you, but this one was particularly disturbing. Agent Morgan, you said 'baby girl I will lick you up and down until you scream what I want to hear so get your very able fingers on that keyboard of yours and get criminal records for all the employees at the restaurant. You got that sexy?' and Ms. Garcia, I believe you replied, 'your wish is my command sugar daddy. Records are being sent to your phone now, look in your inbox for an extra treat.' Is this what happened?" The entire room had their heads down so the very angry Agent Phillips could not see them smile. Morgan and Garcia always were the light of these seminars.

"You killed it in the delivery," Morgan said in a fake offended tone.

"Derek Morgan always delivers better!" Garcia said matter-of-factly. All four had to bite back a laugh when Agent Phillips turned beat red and yelled, "Does everyone see! That is not an appropriate way to talk to a college! Agents Morgan and Garcia, please come back in two weeks for the next seminar. I really don't know why I don't already have you scheduled for the rest of the year! SSAIC Hotchner and SSA Prentiss! You're next!"

Morgan and Garcia held back laughs as Emily smiled sweetly and Hotch groaned again.

"It really was an accident sir. I spilled hot coffee on my shirt and Agent Hotchner was trying to help me sooth the already burning skin. I think that TA Garcia could pull up the video feed for the break room if you needed confirmation." As much fun as it was messing with Hotch about this, she could tell he was really embarrassed and something like this, if it got to Strauss, could result in a permanent blimp on his record. Agent Phillips started at them red faced and then demanded Garcia to pull up the feed on his computer. Within thirty seconds, he was looking at the scene earlier that morning from inside the break room. His jaw was tightening when he saw that they were right –it was only a coffee spill that got misinterpreted. He closed the lap top and apologized for the confusion was Garcia walked back to them smiling very widely, but instead of taking her original seat, she said on the other side of Hotch.

"You know sir," she whispered. "You are very lucky that Agent Phillips was seeing red and didn't notice that while you were indeed cleaning the coffee of Emily, you were in deed also squeezing her left boob. But don't worry – it will be our secret!" And with that, Garcia jumped out of the seat and sat down next to Morgan again, making very load moaning sounds as they both put their hands under the table. Morgan turned to Emily and shrugged as if to say, 'how else are we supposed to entertain ourselves during this?'

Hotch leaned over to whisper in Emily's ear after Phillips started talking again. "Thank you Emily."

"No problem Hotch. That wouldn't be a good thing for either of us to have on our records. As he said, 'groping fellow agents is a no-no in the bureau!'" Hotch half smiled in spite of himself.

"Ok, now that it's all over, I admit that was kind of funny," he whispered in her ear.

"Kind of? Hotch that was the best thing to happen in the break room since the 2007 innocent!" The 2007 innocent being when Agent Anderson's pants accidently (?-still unclear) fell down right as Agent Trifield (both males) screamed 'that the biggest hot dog I've ever seen!' while referring to the food he just headed up in the microwave. Garcia had the video circulating around the bureau within minutes.

Hotch chuckled. He was definitely more relaxed now that he knew he wasn't going to get fired or transferred for sexual harassment. That was relief. "Which part was the best? The coffee talk innuendo or me rubbing you breast?" His breath tickled her ear and she shivered.

"I don't know sir, I think I am going to need a reminder. What do you say we get out of here?" she said seductively.

Hotch didn't even respond, just pulled her up with him and almost ran towards the door.

"Where do you think you are going?" Phillips screamed at them.

"Well we you have proof that we were not doing anything wrong, so we are going to use the extra time to ravish each other in the supply closet down the hall. Productive meeting though," Hotch said with his best emotionless face. Emily burst out laughing and grabbed Hotch's hand, leaving the room with him.

"Supply closet? I've always liked the idea of your desk…sir," she said with a coy grin.

"AGENT MORGAN! HANDS ABOVE THE TABLE!" was the last thing they heard before getting onto the elevators.


End file.
